Communism on the Little League Field

We are raging a generation of what I am sure will be absolute and total wimps. I was calmly going through the mornings stories this morning before heading off to partake in roughly nine hours of mind numbing leadership training when I came across a story about how a Little League in New Haven, Conn. had decided to disband one of it's teams because it has a 9 year old boy named Jericho Scott. Apparently Jericho isn't just any nine year old....he is a nine year old pitching phenom. He throws the ball a whopping 40 mph (are we really gunning the fastballs of 9 year olds these days??? Has it really come to that?) which is apparently too fast for the parents of the little boys on the teams he pitches against. You see, Jericho strikes out their children and as a result, their children don't feel wonderful about themselves.
I've given you some background, but I realized that the more I recap from the story, the more ticked off I get and frankly, it's too damn early for me to be pissed off so I'm going to give you the quick version. Some nine year old throws hard and strikes everyone out, so the Little League of New Haven made the executive decision to ban his team from allowing him to pitch. The Coach (probably some random Dad) thankfully had the good sense to blow this edict off and sent the fireball throwing toddler out to the mound for a game last week. When the opposing team took the field and saw who was pitching, they actually forfeited the game before it even started.
There are so many things racing through my head and so many curse words that I would like to scream at the parents and Coaches of the Youth Baseball League of New Haven, and I almost don't even know where to begin. I guess the first thing I should do is clarify for those that might think that I misread the story (or are hoping that I misread the story) that these parents and coaches do not claim that the lad is too old (ala Danny Almonte) or that he can't control his heat (ie they don't think he's going to hurt one of their kids), they just think he is too good. And so they made a rule saying he can't pitch. This rule is actually frightening. We are actually going to punish a kid for being too good? This is like communism on the Little League Field. He's too good, the other kids need to catch up, maybe if we sit him for a couple of years things will be fair again. Has it really come to this? What sort of message are you sending this young man...."don't be too good, or we will publicly humiliate you and shut down the entire league because you want to pitch. All of your friends will hate you because they won't be able to play as long as you play. We are going to shut down the Little League and it's going to be all your fault." If this kid quits baseball tomorrow, I wouldn't blame him.
But as bad as this rule is by itself, I am almost more horrified by the coaches and parents who forfeited their game last week when they saw the kid was pitching. I wasn't there, but a conversation had to take place where the coaches of the team explained to their players that they wouldn't be playing. I wasn't there, but I can imagine the conversation now. "Alright boys, we are going to pack up our shit and storm off the field. You see, they are pitching that little dude over there, and he is waaaay better than any of you. In fact, he is so much better than you that none of you even have a chance. He is going to get all of you out and as a result, we aren't even going to try. We are going to cut our losses." When the going get tough, the pussies get going (into their cars and back home). I'm only 20 years old and it seems to be a bit early to be petrified about the next generation, but with morons like these parents bringing up the kids...I think it might be time to worry....

Metaphorically Getting Screwed with our Pants On

Going to a sports game is a rip-off. It just is. The unfortunate reality of modern professional sport is that across the board, Joe Six Pack is being priced out of the market and this sucks for a number of reasons, almost all of which are obvious to anyone with a brain. But this isn’t changing. For better or for worse (fine, for worse), professional sports is big business and more and more owners see their teams as a way to make money instead of a fun way to spend their money. It sucks, but it is. Beer isn’t going to get any cheaper (which really, really sucks) and Drayton McClain is not going to stop trying to cut costs by firing scouts and opting not to sign a year’s worth of draft picks (if I could punch the cheap son of a bitch…). I have accepted these things to be the difficult to swallow but unchangeable “way it is.” But I’ve got to ask, if owners are going to so blatantly screw us 99% of the time, could they kindly be a bit less blatant about metaphorically screwing us with our pants on.

It’s hard to imagine anything more ridiculous and insulting than requiring fans to pay a fee just so that they can have the opportunity to purchase season tickets every year. To a certain degree, Houston’s decision to require ticket holders to purchase a PSL is understandable. As an expansion franchise, the team had no previous season ticket holders, and market demand for the tickets was so great that people were falling all over one another to get onto the season ticket waiting list. By charging a rather ridiculous sum for the rights to the season tickets, the Texans effectively weeded out any fans not committed to retaining their tickets long term (the PSL is non-refundable. So if you pay the PSL and after two years, you decide not to re-up your tickets, you lose that PSL money). But the people in Dallas and New York should be ashamed of themselves.

The Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants are both set to move into new stadiums next season, and both are forcing any and all season ticket holders to buy the PSL. This is outlandish for any number of reasons. First of all, the price of the PSLs in both cities is pretty insulting. If you want to reserve a seat in the new Giants stadium, it will cost you in the neighborhood of $100,000. But here’s what is even more deplorable, this fee also applies to current season ticket holders. There are fans in both cities that have been spending their hard earned dollars on Season tickets for years. Some families have passed these tickets on from generation to generation but suddenly; they are going to be forced to give the tickets up because they can’t afford to pay for the damn PSL. So Joe in Dallas has been a Cowboys fan his whole life, and his family has had four season tickets on the 30 for the past 20 years. Despite the fact that the price of his tickets goes up every year, Joe has scrounged to find the money because he loves the Cowboys. After this season, Joe is going to get a letter in the mail from the Cowboys and it is going to thank him for all of the years he has been a loyal supporter and season ticket holder, and then remind him that if he wants to be able to keep buying his seats (which he’s had for twenty years), he will need to make out a check for $400,000.

I don’t know how Joe feels about this, but I want to say something for him and for all NFL fans everywhere: Go f--- yourself, (insert name of owner here).

Why watch the Olympics?

Want to know why I'm looking forward to the Olympics? Because China desperately wants things to go well sooo badly, but they will inevitably turn into the biggest fiasco of the last 30 years. Lets go through the list of things that have already gone wrong before the games have even started.

• After spending an unfathomable sum to produce the most extravagant and showy Opening Ceremonies ever, some South Korean news station managed to tape an entire dress rehearsal of the event and leaked it onto the Internet. This is pretty funny because China manages to keep it's entire population cut off from any information that paints the government in a negative light. They are the masters of deception and censorship, yet they couldn't ensure that their opening ceremonies didn't get taped by a local news cameraman.
• After promising everyone involved that the Chinese government would not interfere with the international press or their coverage of the event, reporters who arrived in Beijing found that they couldn't access most of the Internet. Oh, and the Chinese also informed NBC, which payed an ungodly sum for the right to cover the games, that they would be limiting the amount of hours NBC will be able to show live. Oh, and they wouldn't release the menus, and getting visas proved to be pretty tough....So reporters are definitely going to write nice things about the Chinese government
• The Chinese government tried to mask the visually unappealing parts of Beijing (ie those communities ravaged by poverty) by putting giant billboards in front of them...the press noticed...
  
• The torch relay was interrupted by massive protests in Tibet...which turned into riots. Needless to say, the torch relay ceased to be the story after people started looting.
• The athletes apparently were not joking about the masks. Athletes showed up in Beijing yesterday wearing black surgeons masks so they wouldn't have to breathe the "toxic" air. I'm sure the Chinese are going to be pumped about athletes running races in those bad boys so that the only thing anyone watching thinks about is how "toxic" China is
• On a more positive note: China's going to allow protests, except not really since you have to have a permit and you can only protest in a ten yard box located six hundred miles from any press

If these sorts of stories are any indication of things to come, you should tune in. You see, old habits die hard. That's why even though the Chinese are playing nice and allowing protest (sort of) and are resisting their desire to censor media coverage of the Games (sort of), I predict that we are going to see the Chinese government as it truly is at some point. I imagine the scenario playing out something like this: NBC will be doing one of it's live news broadcasts from Beijing and during the broadcast, some protester will get past security and run behind news anchor Brian Williams and hold up a sign that says something like "Free Tibet." The Chinese security officials at the scene will panic and their training will take over. The guards will tackle the protester and beat him senseless with Brian Williams and the entire NBC audience watching in horror. Then, those of us viewing at home will see the screen go black. Five minutes later, an NBC executive will come on air and announce that the Chinese government has confiscated all of NBC's video cameras and equipment, and that the government has arrested Brian Williams.
While it might not play out exactly this way, something entertaining is going to happen. This is why I will sit through all of the boring hours of coverage of obscure sports. Eventually, this thing is going to turn into a circus, baby! So come on China, we all know you don't give a damn about human rights or the West's perception of your government, so let your true colors shine. Let the games begin!